If “scalable” were a drinking game, none of us would leave the conference room sober. Unfortunately, a single word that conveys “being flexible enough to grow from 10 to 10,000,000” is unlikely to go away any time soon.

HINT: Understand what it means, and amuse yourself by pretending to drink whenever you hear it.

A quick Google search reveals more than 13 million websites with this exact phrase. Bonus jargon points if you’re using the phrase “deliver innovative solutions.”

HINT: “Solutions” is vague, and “innovative” means the opposite if everyone else is using it. Find a more specific way to say what you do.

Question: What do marketing and seismology have in common? Answer: NOTHING. We just need to stop already.”

HINT: While we’re at it, can we also get rid of “gain traction?” Old-fashioned words like “progress” and “change” will do just as well.

Want to learn how to turn people into zombies? Just utter the words, “We provide actionable insights” and watch your audience’s eyes glaze over—in “real time.” A cousin to #2 on our list,
“actionable insights” is another marketing phrase that has been used so much that it’s become practically meaningless.

HINT: Instead of tossing out this tiresome phrase, explain how you work your magic.

Remember the phrase “2.0?” Remember how it was so cool and clever to say something was “______ 2.0,” and then one day you woke up and thought, “If I hear ‘2.0’ once more I’m going to be sick?”

HINT: We’ve reached that point with “next generation.” The choice is easy: move on or prepare for puke.

Borrowed from the physics world (think “levers”), marketers have permanently corrupted this term. It’s now a verb meaning “to maximize an opportunity.” (i.e. “We need to leverage those new social follows.”).

HINT: TBH, we find ourselves relying on this chestnut from time to time, but we’ve tried to banish it from emails and written work—and we recommend doing the same.

If “bandwidth” were an animal, it would be a squirrel: clever and cute and impossible to eradicate. Once you start using this word to describe whether or not you have the resources for a new project, it’s almost impossible to stop.

HINT: An absolute no-no for anything outside of texts or email.

Today, declaring yourself a “thought leader” is like wearing pleated khakis: it dates you–and not in the “I’m-paying-for-dinner” way.

HINT: It’s OK to use this phrase to rank for SEO or explain how you help others–but banish it from all self-descriptions, including resumes, websites, and profiles.

We’re picking the fruit. We’re biting into the fruit. We’re spitting it out because the metaphor’s rotten and potentially NSFW.

HINT: Unless you’re about to pick apples, just say “great opportunity.”

This phrase comes from an episode of Happy Days where Fonzie (on waterskies) jumps over a shark—a stunt seen as a lame attempt to attract viewers. Today, it describes something that was once quality but is now in decline, or someone that is perceived as “trying too hard.” (i.e. “Has Apple jumped the shark with the iPhone 8?”).

HINT: Using the phrase “jumped the shark” in a piece about overused marketing phrases might actually be jumping the shark. But we’re not sure.

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